Social Scapes

Are you making excuses for your partner?  If you are, do you realize that this behavior is not healthy and is harming both of you?  Do you have kids?  If you do, then your problems are also affecting them.

Trying to maintain a relationship where you are always making excuses for your partner is a tiring job and will eventually wear you down.  Usually people who more introverted and have an aversion to conflicts are the ones that make excuses for their partner’s inexcusable behavior.  Of course, this is not always the rule and there are exceptions.  If your partner is controlling or lying to you or worse yet, harming you emotionally and physically, then those are highly inexcusable behaviors and you should stop excusing them.

The problem is that most of us, though we are singles in the mature dating scene, we don’t always have the emotional maturity we really need to keep our relationships vibrant and healthy.  We are just hurting ourselves and our chances at finding a great love when we allow our partner’s inexcusable behavior to be accepted as the norm.

When you continually allow your partner to treat you in a disrespectful manner, he will continue to do so.  The behavior we accept from our partner teaches our partner how to treat us.  If we allow our partner to control us and we never say anything about how that feels, he or she will continue to walk all over us.  Behavior left unchallenged will continue uninterrupted.

If you are ignoring how your partner is treating you, that won’t make the behavior any less impactful on your lives, nor will it make the negative behavior go away.  You are only responsible for you; you’re not responsible for your partner’s behavior.  Once you realize that and internalize that truth, you will be well on your way toward emotional maturity in your mature dating career.

You need to be honest with yourself and with your partner about your true feelings.  If you don’t like conflict, you need to muster up the courage to take a stand and let your partner know how you are feeling.  No one is really looking out for you, but yourself.  You can make a difference in the relationship if you stand up for yourself and do what’s right.  Maybe your partner has no idea how his or her negative behavior is affecting you.  Maybe all that is needed is for you to verbalize your true feelings on the issue.

If after you take these steps towards recovery and your partner still is not willing to meet you half-way, then you need to decide if you are willing to settle for this type of relationship all of your life.  A mature relationship is about two people who are totally committed to making the relationship work no matter what the cost.

If you are looking for a new relationship, and you are at the mature dating seeking stage, visit the online matchmaking site, www.maturesinglesonly.com.  You’ll be able to find a like-minded single that is looking for a long-term relationship.